Thursday, February 23, 2012

Overwhelming Dreams

I want to do my best at everything. Unfortunately, in order for that to happen I need to focus.
In Marketing, when you are creating an ad, or starting a business, or creating a flyer, or decorating a room, you have to focus.
I'm learning that I haven't been applying the essentials of marketing to my own life.
There's school, which includes my advertising internship. There's work which includes getting up before 6am often. There's household chores, which even though we rent a room, that doesn't mean that the room is the only responsibility; cooking, cleaning, laundry, the usual mom stuff. There's the appointments. There's shopping for groceries and essentials. There's making sure that my daughter has the correct clothes, shoes, medicine.
I could go on, but you get the picture.

I am:
A wife
A mother
A Barista
A student
An intern
A volunteer
A 22 years old

If I want to do my best at these things, I am going to have to cut back on some of them. I'm sure I'm not the only one that overwhelms themselves with too much to do. I have something organizing to do about how I need to put together my life.
I've realized that I take other peoples negative critiques to seriously, and I end up wanting to prove that I can do everything and be just fine. But I can't do everything, it's hard. And why should I stress myself just to prove to others that I can eventually succeed or break down.

Dream:
I had a very long dream that I will spare too many details. My dreams have always been very realistic and lucid. I can almost always tell when I'm dreaming.

*Dream*
There was a girl with dark brown hair riding a bike a little girl strapped to her right shoulder. She was riding next to three different cars. I realized that I was dreaming at that moment, but decided to go help her anyways. When I walked toward her, there was a man that wouldn't let me get near her. I ended up needed 3 different pairs of glasses in order for him not to tell that it was me. When I finally go near her, I asked if she needed help. She seemed hesitant, but asked if I could help her with one of her vehicles. She was driving one vehicle with another attached. She pointed to a bicycle with a 3 cushion couch attached to it, that was the vehicle she asked me to help her with. As soon as I tried to help the strange man appeared again. I wanted nothing to do with him, so I spun to reset my dream.

After this I had other dreams that were linked.
Basically, when I recreated this dream in my head after being awake I realized that I'm not focusing on the three things that mean the most to me.
My daughter, my marriage, and myself.

In all truth, it makes me really sad. But I'm glad I'm realizing this now, and not later.

I'm not giving up. I just need to take it slow.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, at least your not trapped in an existential nightmare, constantly haunted and nauseated by the inherent meanings of this muddled thing called life.

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  2. Very true, I should be grateful for having too much of a good thing, rather than complain about it.

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